Who The Heck Is Turner?

A very good question

Turner Newberg: An Overview

My first name is usually a last name, my last name is usually misspelled, and my middle name is usually mispronounced because it’s Laotian. So I leave it out.

To save you the lookup, Laos takes up the northern part of Vietnam’s western border. There’s your geography lesson for today.

Who Turner Isn’t

At the time of writing, I’m not an adult. I’m not married. I don’t have kids. Heck, I’ve never even been on a date.

The reason I bring this up is that teens actually think about family stuff. In a couple years, they’re gonna be starting their own.

Well, the responsible ones anyway.

I’m still kind of figuring life out. I don’t have all the experience and stuff. There’s a lot of tragedy I’ve never faced. But I’ve been through things people only have nightmares about. God leads us all down different roads.

I’m not saying this because I want someone to listen to my sob stories. I’m saying this to qualify my words. I’m not an agéd wise man who’s weathered storms and has some sage advice for the young’uns. I’m a young’un who knows what it’s like to be a young’un.

Who Turner Is

I’m a Reformed Christian, bought by the blood of Christ and yanked out of Hell kicking and screaming, because sinners are like that.

I believe that because God made the world, knowing God’s design and embracing it is how you live a fulfilled life. But of course, we like to have our own ideas on how things work, and so we get in our own way.

I’ve been reading thick novels since I was in fourth grade, and I’ve been writing for about six months. My spectrum’s pretty wide, from real-fic to epic fantasy. I target teenage boys (12-17) because 1) I am one, and 2) let’s face it, most MG/YA books are girly or DEI trash, and guys don’t want to read that.

Basically, I wanna write stuff with testosterone.

I’ve also dabbled in poetry, song lyrics, and card/board games.

Some of my other random interests include axes, juggling, creepy bugs, and dangerous power tools.

Ok, so who the heck is Turner? If you’re name is Karen, I’m a oppressive misogynistic racist homophobic transphobic white-supremacist fascist bigoted radical right-wing extremist Christian nationalist nazi. And you know what? If that’s what the Bible says to be, I’ll wear it like a badge.

But if you have a brain, I’m a Bible-believing Christian who’s seen a little life and had a couple thoughts along the way.

What You Can Expect From Me

Random thoughts about theology, culture, life, literature, and whatever else I think people might care about.

Brainstorms and sneak peeks at whatever project I’m working on. All feedback is welcome.¹

Just because I’m Reformed doesn’t mean my stories will preach in people’s faces, even though that’s woke literature does. It just means I care about telling actual good stories, and I think people ought to know where I stand.

It’s about time people stood.

And I’m taking my first steps right now.

Soli Deo Gloria

You can find me on X with the same handle, @ThatTurnerN

1. If you plan on sending me hate mail, I have conveniently provided a list of all the names you’re gonna call me in the next five years. Feel free to copy and paste it. Save your brainpower for meaningful discussion.