Mind Prison
Turner writes a skit at 1 am
NSA is starting a 24-hour theater competition, but we were given a week to prepare scripts. I spent the first seven days coming up with some interesting idea and the last 3 hours furiously scribbling it down. I submitted it at 1 am. An hour late. Sue me.
And then I learned it was actually due in 2 weeks not 1, so…
Anyway, they didn’t go with mine, so I decided I’d drop it here cuz it’s been a while since I’ve posted fiction. But keep in mind I have no clue how to write plays, let alone keep them 10 minutes long.
And competition rules said it had to take place “far from home,” and include a toaster and the quote “What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!”
So I threw in a bunch of scraps and out popped this Eowyn stew. Hope you enjoy it.
ACT I
(Lights up. THEA and ORPHEUS tied to chairs, back to back in a black room)
THEA (waking, disoriented) What, no, no, where-
(notices ORPHEUS) Hey, pssst, wake up!
ORPHEUS If this is a dream, I’d like a different one.
THEA You’re tied to a chair.
ORPHEUS That does narrow the genre…Any idea why?
THEA I just woke up.
ORPHEUS Same. No memory, no dramatic backstory, not even a clue.
THEA I’m Thea
ORPHEUS Orpheus. Guess my parents wanted me to be a walking history lesson.
(They both test the ropes)
THEA There’s some slack.
ORPHEUS Good. I’d hate for this to be professionally done.
THEA Scoot closer.
(They awkwardly drag chairs together)
ORPHEUS If we survive, I’m writing a complaint about the seating.
(rope loosens)
ORPHEUS There it is. Yes, keep doing that.
(ORPHEUS slips one hand free, then unties the two of them. They stand)
THEA Okay. We’re up. That’s step one.
ORPHEUS Step two: not being here anymore.
(He scans the room, notices a door)
ORPHEUS There.
(He opens it slowly)
THEA This is a house.
ORPHEUS That’s worse. Rooms mean planning.
(They move cautiously. A door off to the side is slightly open. ORPHEUS opens the door. Behind is a desk with crumpled up papers on it)
ORPHEUS Someone left in a hurry.
THEA Look, windows! Let’s get out of here!
ORPHEUS Yeah, and shout like a bull horn “Hey! We’ve escaped!”
THEA How do you know they’re even here?
(hears footsteps coming down the hall)
THEA (shuts door) quick, hide! (ducks behind desk)
CAPTOR 1 (pauses in front of door) I can’t believe it. They’re actually paying a
hundred thousand dollars for each of them!
CAPTOR 2 That’s so crazy.
CAPTOR 1 Alright let’s check on them one more time before we dash outta here like a hound that’s caught a scent.
THEA (eyes window) I seriously think we need to make a break for it.
ORPHEUS Just sshh!
THEA I’m not seeing a better option at the moment.
ORPHEUS (closes eyes) Just wait. And shut up.
CAPTOR 2 Oh come on. The girl is just going to cry waterfalls again. Do you really want to deal with that?
CAPTOR 1 Whatever. No more sob fests, no more checkups. Let’s just get our money.
(CAPTORS leave the stage)
ORPHEUS See? What did I tell you. Just stay in the house.
(An engine starts up and drives off)
THEA (peeks out window) Where are we anyway?
ORPHEUS Somewhere hard for people to find, far from home.
THEA No, like, it’s just trees out there. No birds or flowers or anything. It’ll make us easy to hear when we sneak out.
ORPHEUS I want to see what treasures we can loot from this place.
THEA Good thinking. I should probably try to find us some food.
ORPHEUS Yeah, do that.
(ORPHEUS leaves. THEA wanders her way into a kitchen)
THEA Nice! Let’s see, we got a pantry. Awesome. A fridge. Probably useless. We don’t
need an expired- hey bread!
(spots toaster) (snickers mischievously to herself) Breakfast! (pops bread in toaster)
ORPHEUS (fast walking on stage) What are you doing Thea!?
THEA (smugly) breakfast
ORPHEUS We just got kidnapped and you’re making toast??
THEA Well you were just wandering the house aimlessly.
(ORPHEUS looks back and forth, stressed, before frustratedly leaving the stage)
Lights suddenly go black
ACT II
(same setup as ACT I, except the background has more detail)
THEO (wakes up) Wait, what- no, this is not right.
(notices ORPHEUS) Orpheus?
ORPHEUS Huh? How do you know my name?
THEO This is crazy, this is crazy-
ORPHEUS Yes you are. Now shut up and, uh, somehow get out of here.
THEO Oh, uh, right. (scoots closer and unties ORPHEUS)
ORPHEUS Dang, that was fast.
THEO I’ve done this before.
ORPHEUS What?
THEO I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I swear I just lived through this.
ORPHEUS You mean like you escaped and got caught again?
THEO No I mean like we were tied up in this room, but I was a girl, and-
ORPHEUS Ok dude, you’re tripping. You need some water.
THEO I swear it’s true. Like, guess my name.
ORPHEUS What? How should I know?
THEO Just try.
ORPHEUS (sarcastic) Timothy.
THEO (exasperated, sighs) Ok, umm…oh yeah, our captors are about to walk down the hall, but then leave and get in their car.
(THEO carefully cracks the door open and sees no one)
THEO Ok then, let’s go to the office.
ORPHEUS This is nuts dude. Let’s just get out of here.
THEO Just wait. Let me show you.
(They enter the office, same setup as before but more detailed)
THEO I specifically remembered the forest outside was like-
(THEO pauses, in confusion)
ORPHEUS Woods-looking?
THEO It…wasn’t. It was super dull and hollow, like it was drawn by AI.
(hears footsteps coming down the hall)
THEO (whispering) That’s them, look!
ORPHEUS No, I don’t want to look. I want to stay out of sight.
(THEO cracks the door a tiny bit open, sees SCIENTISTS, and is confused)
SCIENTIST 1 I can’t believe it. They’re actually paying a hundred thousand dollars for each of them!
SCIENTIST 2 That’s so crazy.
SCIENTIST 1 Alright let’s check on them one more time before we dip.
SCIENTIST 2 Oh come on, you know what happens when you interfere mid-session.
SCIENTIST 1 Whatever. Let’s just get on with it.
(SCIENTISTS leave, engine starts, THEO opens door, confused)
THEO Lab coats?
ORPHEUS What, they weren’t in lab coats (air quotes) “last time”?
THEO Well…I didn’t actually see them.\
ORPHEUS Whatever, I don’t care. Let’s just get out of here already. What happened next?
THEO Next I went to the kitchen and made toast.
(ORPHEUS sighs dramatically)
THEO But that’s when it got weird. Cuz my memory ended right after that.
ORPHEUS Well if fate says you make toast, then make toast.
(THEO pops toast in toaster)
Lights suddenly go black. You hear the toaster pop
ACT III
(THEA and ORPHEUS in chairs, not bound, in a black room)
THEA (wakes up, screams) Orpheus! What is happening!?
(notices she is not bound, stands up in shock)
ORPHEUS Calm down, Thea-
THEA Aha! You do remember my name!
ORPHEUS Of course, let me explain-
THEA Yes of course you have some explaining to do! What is this some kind of time prison!?
ORPHEUS Thea, if you don’t settle down we’ll have to send you home. You can come back tomorrow with a more-
THEA Tomorrow!? What does that even mean? What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!
ORPHEUS (sighs) Aris! Philemon! Get in here.
(Enter SCIENTISTS. THEA picks up chair to defend herself)
ORPHEUS (laughs) We are not your captors - we’re psychologists. My name is Orpheus Fishburne, and these are my colleages, Dr. Aris and Dr. Philemon.
THEA What is this?
SCIENTIST 1 You may not remember this due to the procedure’s side effects, but you were participating in a clinical trial - a human brain living in an artificial world directed completely by AI.
THEA So the trees, and the rooms, and the way you talked…was all AI.
SCIENTIST 1 (Nods, laughs) Yep. It still needed to work out the kinks.
THEA Then what was the deal with the toaster?
SCIENTIST 2 (holding toaster) That was not just a kitchen appliance - it was an interdimensional portal woven into the code of AI reality. When you push the lever, you’re transported in or out of AI world. If it pops back up, that means you’re in the real world and entering the AI.
THEA That’s…that’s insane.
ORPHEUS And we think you have done enough interdimensional wandering for us. We have enough data to fix the holes, like the lifeless trees you talked about.
THEA So…I’m good now?
ORPHEUS Yes, you’re good now.
THEA (laughs) Awesome. And I swear, if I make toast and wake up in a chair one more time, I will murder somebody!
(All exit stage. SCIENTIST 2 places down toaster, which ORPHEUS casually pushes)
Fade to black. The toaster does not pop up
If you couldn’t already tell, this skit to have Christopher Nolan vibes. In the comments, tell me what the heck you think just happened.
Yup, definitely Christopher Nolan vibes..... I didn't even notice Thea switched to Theo until they mentioned it...
To me it doesn't make sense that Orpheus and the scientists were humans in the AI world since Thea was the test subject, so I'm guessing that Orpheus and the scientists are AI creations as well and they lied to her about where she is and what's going on. Tho for what reason I'm not sure.
Ooooor, this could be an experiment on the audience to see if we search for and out meaning to something that really has no other meaning and it's completely random and isn't suppose to make sense.
That was certainly a wild ride. 🤣